In light of how gorgeous the weather was this weekend, I did something I seldom do and sought out an outdoor activity. Not, like, the sporty, exercisey kind, just something that maybe I’d normally do indoors, and wouldn’t mind doing sans walls and roof. Now, there are few things I love more than a.) used wares, b.) beer, c.) karaoke, d.) awkwardness and e.) puns. If all of those things got together for a sweaty, sandy sex orgy, Ramona Flea Market would be their bastard baby boy. And it’s kind of like an outdoor activity, right?

Shopping-wise, it resembles most flea markets — produce, knock-off sunglasses, bongs, bb guns, old VHS tapes, cheap clothes, shoes and tchotchkes galore — but, as far as I know, Ramona is the only flea market ’round these parts that has a “beer garden” (read: plywood room where they serve beer) AND karaoke — in the middle of the day!

This Saturday, when I attended with a few friends, Mr. K and wife Sparkle — wearing matching outfits, no less — were manning (and womanning) the karaoke disc changer for an amazingly motley bunch of people. In the span of about two hours a socially awkward tween said (as opposed to sang) Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock and Roll,”  a child named Timmy went missing and was found again, two men had a good ol’ fashioned “comb-off” (like a dance-off but with more personal grooming), a 13-year-old dance prodigy popped and locked to “Glamourous” by Fergie, I performed “I Wanna Talk About Me” by Toby Keith … we laughed, we cried, it was better than “Cats!”

Oh, yeah, and remember how much I like puns s’much? Check the sign that was posted outside the restrooms: Read the rest of this entry »

After an impressive season and even more impressive 31-17 victory over Peyton “The Forehead” Manning and his Colts in last night’s Super Bowl, the New Orleans Saints are “marching in” (sorry) to 2010 as champions of the NFL. There remains a tie score in my heart, however, for the more important title: Most Bestest Superbowl Commercial.

Even though about 40 percent of Super Bowl viewers are women, a vast majority of the commercials were overtly male-centric — like the “I’m my wife’s bitch, so I get to drive a dumb muscle car” Dodge Charger spot and Dockers’ Men Without Pants ad (not to be confused with Canadian New Wave band Men Without Hats) — and therefore sucked, but there were a few real good’uns, the kind of commercials that remind you why, on this one special night of the year, you’re willing to forgo the DVR. A few were honorable mention-worthy (like this one and this one), but here, for your consideration, are the Colts and the Saints of this year’s Super Bowl ads. ‘Cept they’re both winners.

The first is a Doritos commercial (a finalist in their Crash the Super Bowl Contest). Keep in mind it took a lot for me to put aside the fact that the woman in the ad bears an upsettingly striking resemblance to VH1 reality ho (and possible man) Tiffany “New York” Pollard, but this child’s voice and slappy little hands were enough to win me over (and over and over).

The next is a Volkswagen spot that takes several things that are good — collective nostalgia, old man crotch punches, the song “Two Weeks” by Grizzly Bear — and puts them all together. Plus, it creates a world where blind Stevie Wonders can see and can also casually hang out with/punch funniest person ever Tracy Morgan. Magic.

Oh, yeah and winner of “Most vague and inadvertently confusing (had everyone not already known it was supposed to have a pro-life message) commercial” was the kerfuffle-creating Tim Tebow-Focus on the Family ad. All Pam Tebow did was not abort the gargantuan, and look what she gets for her trouble …

— Gwynedd Stuart

While we were waiting for Jonathan Richman to take the stage at Jack Rabbits last night, a friend told me he’d seen/read somewhere that researchers recently discovered that a man’s dance moves get progressively worse as he ages — an evolutionary measure to repel women and prevent old guys from impregnating them with their geriatric seed.

Richman is an exception to that rule. He’s getting up there in age (he’s actually two years older than my mom, which makes me feel confused and kind of sad) but he’s still swiveling his hips with the finesse of a gray-bearded teenager. Besides the dancing, there were sleigh bells, cow bells, songs in Spanish and Richman’s endearingly adorable looks-of-longing into the audience.

I didn’t get any of the dancing on tape, but I did get “Pablo Picasso.” I’ll let Jonathan explain why he never got called an aaahhhssss-hole.

— Gwynedd Stuart

So you know how there are people who are, like, sexually aroused by wearing and seeing others wear furry animal costumes?

I think the following video of Jacksonville Jaguars mascot Jaxson DeVille at the Pro-Bowl would make even the most devoted fans-’o-fur puke all up inside those big, hollow heads of theirs.

Take a peek … if you hate things that are not disturbing.

I’d always assumed the Pro-Bowl was family/sighted-friendly. Nope.

— Gwynedd Stuart

Historian and social activist Howard Zinn died last week. He wrote many great things in his lifetime, but here, in brief, is his thoughts on remaining committed and activist — worthwhile reading for us all.

You ask how I manage to stay involved and remain seemingly happy and adjusted to this awful world where the efforts of caring people pale in comparison to those who have power?

It’s easy. First, don’t let “those who have power” intimidate you. No matter how much power they have they cannot prevent you from living your life, speaking your mind, thinking independently, having relationships with people as you like. (Read Emma Goldman’s autobiography LIVING MY LIFE. Harassed, even imprisoned by authority, she insisted on living her life, speaking out, however she felt like.

Second, find people to be with who have your values, your commitments, but who also have a sense of humor. That combination is a necessity!

Third (notice how precise is my advice that I can confidently number it, the way scientists number things), understand that the major media will not tell you of all the acts of resistance taking place every day in the society, the strikes, the protests, the individual acts of courage in the face of authority. Look around (and you will certainly find it) for the evidence of these unreported acts. And for the little you find, extrapolate from that and assume there must be a thousand times as much as what you’ve found.

Fourth. Note that throughout history people have felt powerless before authority, but that at certain times these powerless people, by organizing, acting, risking, persisting, have created enough power to change the world around them, even if a little. That is the history of the labor movement, of the women’s movement, of the anti-Vietnam war movement, the disabled persons movement, the gay and lesbian movement, the movement of black people in the South.

Fifth: Remember, that those who have power, and who seem invulnerable are in fact quite vulnerable, that their power depends on the obedience of others, and when those others begin withholding that obedience, begin defying authority, that power at the top turns out to be very fragile. Generals become powerless when their soldiers refuse to fight, industriaists become powerless when their workers leave the jobs or occupy the factories.

Sixth: When we forget the fragility of that power in top we become astounded when it crumbles in the face of rebellion. We have had many such surprises in our time, both in the United States and in other countries.

Seventh: Don’t look for a moment of total triumph. See it as an ongoing struggle, with victories and defeats, but in the long run the consciousness of people growing. So you need patience, persistence, and need to understand that even when you don’t “win,” there is fun and fulfillment in the fact that you have been involved, with other good people, in something worthwhile.

Okay, seven pieces of profound advice should be enough.

Literally!  Ami Shalev, lead singer of the previously-Flogged-about Monotonix, broke his leg at the band’s Jan. 27th gig in South Florida. Watching the youtube vid of the incident is a little heartwrenching (audience members yelling “Suck it Up!” when he’s clearly hurting), but apparently all turned out fine. Shalev is healing and hopes to be up to performing in a couple of days.

– Posted by Anne Schindler

I know all you Dwell fans dig on this mag’s hyper-hip lowfi style, but Unhappy Hipsters’ exploration of its existential visual aesthetic is totally worth checking out.

– Posted by Anne Schindler

If you woke up this morning feeling like you got punched in the face with someone’s butt, there’s a good chance you were at last night’s Monotonix show at Cafe Eleven.

The St. Augustine Beach venue hosted the thrash-happy bill, with the banned-in-Tel-Aviv Monotonix headlining, and openers B.L.O.R.R. and Surfer Blood whipping the crowd into gear.

By the time the exceedingly hirsute, sweaty and insane threesome took the stage, each wearing tiny athletic shorts, the audience was ready to begin whipping beers, crowd surfing and slam dancing with abandon.

Anyone who thought they could escape the frenzy by watching from the back quickly found themselves in the center of the melee after drummer Haggai Fershtman moved his kit to the middle of the cafe floor. Lead singer Ami Shalev followed suit, climbing the rafters to the back of the restaurant, and turning the Cafe’s service counter into the stage, pelting the audeince with straws, cut lemons, and anything else he could lay his hands on.

It may be a few weeks before I can bring myself to order food from the restaurant again, but it will be much longer before anyone there forgets the show. (I’m posting this picture just so everyone can appreciate the beer-coated lens.)

To get an idea of what you missed, check out this clip from Bumbershoot ‘08 in Seattle.

– Posted by Anne Schindler

It’s no surprise that Tim Tebow’s evangelical Christian roots run deep, or that he’s more than willing to advance his religious views for the perceived betterment of others. The Heisman Trophy-winning Gator (and Nease grad) helped create a cottage industry in Biblical eye black, and his missions to the Philippines — including his assists circumcising small boys — drew praise and publicity in equal meaure.

But Tebow’s latest evangalizing comes in the form of a 30-second Super Bowl ad shilling for one of the most fundamentalist and intolerant of mainstream Christian groups, Focus on the Family. The Colorado Springs-based organization, founded by James Dobson, has earned a reputation for its virulently anti-gay rhetoric. The Southern Poverty Law Center notes that “no one has spread the anti-gay gospel as widely, or with a much political impact” as FoF, and reported that Dobson once publicly compared homosexuals to “prostitutes, pedophiles, voyeurs, adulterers and thsoe who sexually prefer animals.” 

Focus on the Family spent $1.25 million financing the anti-gay marriage Proposition 8 campiagn in California– more than six times what the Mormon Church spent — but this is the first time the group has purchased Super Bowl air time. Obviously the group, like so many others, wants the popular Tebow to carry the ball for them. It’s a shame he’s chosen such an ugly organization to help advance.

Bonus round: Check out this clip of sex columnist Dan Savage discussing the evolution of the institution of marriage:

– Posted Anne Schindler

Yeah, the Harvest of Hope lineup is already pretty awesome, with Man Man, Billy Bragg, Kimya Dawson, Anti-Flag and Dr. Dog (among many, many others) performing March 12-14 at the St. Johns County Fair Grounds. But a recent announcement has Folio Weekly ready to don our studded wristbands and throw up the metal horns. Anvil, yes fucking ANVIL, was just added to the bill.

Marketing and promotions dude Dan Larson says there are a few more “big confirmations” yet to be made. But we’re pretty happy with the addition of the Canadian metal band. Anvil was the subject of the acclaimed documentary “Anvil! The Story of Anvil,” which follows the Spinal Tap-like history of the ill-fated rockers. In fact, the film has propelled the band to its current level of popularity. They’re bigger now than ever.

Here’s the trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF4H8lB2Y_o

— Posted by John E. Citrone